Super Hyper Times

Some days I get super hyper. My friends have come to recognise the slightly insane glint in my eye after I have consumed too much sugar (or sometimes from too little sugar…) and either make themselves scarce to avoid the madness, or take a seat and observe with interest as I literally bounce off the walls. The last time it happened I had so much energy that I ran around in circles for a good hour wildly windmilling my arms, just because I could. My friend (not the skin-you-and-turn-you-into-a-blanket friend, I’m staying away from her) said that just watching me was exhausting, and that I resembled a drunk toddler with anger problems and an insatiable crack addiction. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t flattered.

Sometimes this hyperness is a problem though, like in the middle of a two-hour class  or on a bus, where I cannot easily get into a large outdoor space to flail around for a while. Also one day my friend Sam and I foolishly drank one of those giant energy drinks each, which resulted in what I like to refer to as ‘super extreme hyper overdose frenzy’. It felt like what I imagine being on acid would feel like and I’m pretty sure Sam turned into a talking dolphin at one point.

What did I learn from this experience? One, that despite being 20 years of age, eating too much sugar turns me into a deranged preschooler, and two, Sam and I should never ever drink Red Bull ever again. It does not give you wings, just so much energy that you will not sleep for days and probably have withdrawal symptoms. However it is extremely likely that curiosity (and general stupidity) will get the better of us once again and we will have a Red Bull drink-off, hopefully in close proximity to a large outdoor space. See you in energy drink rehab.

Flailing Awkwardly

I had a super awkward moment today.

Almost as awkward as that time I thought it would be fun to spin around as fast as I could in our backyard, then try to run in a straight line. I pretty much ran sideways and tripped over my feet and landed on my face, then realised the elderly woman next door was watching the whole thing. I hope she thought I was on drugs because the fact that I was sober makes it even more embarrassing.

Anyway, I was walking along the street happily daydreaming, which means my eyes were probably glazed over and I looked like I could possibly have psychiatric problems. A woman in her car kindly stopped to let me cross at the pedestrian crossing. As I walked past the front of her car, I turned to give a quick friendly wave to say ‘thanks’ but instead half-stumbled and half-threw myself off balance, which resulted in my arms wildly flailing up in the direction of the poor woman’s car. I recovered and awkwardly tried to keep walking normally, desperately trying to avoid eye contact and pretending like it had never happened.

Just before the woman drove off, I looked up and caught a glimpse of her staring at me like she was terrified I would do the insane arm-waving thing again. Perhaps she thought it was some form of insult or that I had just cursed her first-born child or something.

I leave you with the strangest thing I have heard in the last week. Upon asking my friend what she would do if I died, she replied without hesitation “I would skin you and use you as a blanket.” I am going to avoid her next winter in case she gets cold and decides to slaughter me.

Volcanoes

At some point in my childhood I was briefly but intensely obsessed with volcanoes. I think it was a National Geographic article that inspired this passionate longing.

The topic came up in school not long afterwards. I remember sitting at my desk with this feeling of awe sweeping over me, a spark of self-righteous pride rising through me when the teacher mentioned the difference between lava and magma, because I already knew that. I was absolutely and irrevocably sure that this made me the most informed child in the world on volcano-related matters; the girl people would point at it in the streets and whisper, in part shock and part reverence, “She’s the one who knows about volcanoes.”

I had glorious dreams where my hometown was in terrible danger from a nearby volcano as it threatened to pour red-hot lava over us all; and somehow (this part was always hazy) I would save everyone through my immense library of knowledge about volcanoes and complete lack of fear, also while wearing a cape of some sort.

Then the next National Geographic magazine arrived, featuring an article about the fascinating creatures of the deep sea. I was wildly excited until I remembered that I was an appallingly pathetic swimmer and was somewhat frightened of the ocean.